Letter To Leeds United Fans #LUFC #MOT

Tweet: @EnglandRovers
26/10/2015

Dear Leeds United Fans,

Football is a funny old game. God has given me the talent to put the Fear of God into people. This will be especially so with your current squad of Leeds United players. No Leeds United manager so far this season has done anything to satisfy the great hunger of those loyal fans who are marching on together.

From twitter I know two Leeds United fans, Mark and Richard, who will give me references by the end of this season to become the Leeds United manager. I know another Leeds United fan who thinks he has scored a better goal than me. The ball was coming to him in the air while he was on the edge of the area so he chested it down and volleyed it into the net whereas my best goal was beating two or three players on the left wing, getting to the corner of the penalty area and striking a sweet right foot curling shot into the far top corner of the goal to which most people on the pitched chorused, “Good Goal!”

You decide. I don’t keep a CV, at age 47 I still play indoor football but I will need my coaching badges. I am skint at the moment and and will have to have borrowed money to pay for the stamp for this letter. I just hope it reaches you by Wednesday (Thursday) when you play Blackburn Rovers.

I look forward to the day when all land disputes are settled by football matches which is related in the Coat of Peace of the House of Ewood above. ‘fede sendoa’ is Basque for ‘Strong Faith’ and the House of Ewood stems from four generations of our family living on Bolton Road, Ewood. It is nothing to do with the fact that Blackburn Rovers play home matches at Ewood Park.

I have 8 ‘O’-Levels, 3 ‘A’-Levels in Maths, Physics and Chemistry and dropped out of Polytechnic after passing two years of a course in Electronic & Information Engineering. I program computers, write history and research genealogy being self-employed since 1991 and now allowed to work up to 16 hours per week.

I need the experience with Leeds United to one day become England manager and win the World Cup again. All I can promise is that I will be no worse than Brian Clough during his tenure at Leeds United and quite likely eclipse him at club football level as a manager. I will need a 5 year contract with good remuneration.

Further details can be discussed at interview closer to the Summer. Meanwhile you may write to me with your thoughts or email or tweet your thoughts.

Yours Faithfully,

Damian John Brown